


Yearning

by BestHandwriting



Category: Sword Art Online
Genre: M/M, Mentions of Kirisuna, Minor Spoilers for Alicization Arc
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-10
Updated: 2015-12-10
Packaged: 2018-05-05 22:22:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,125
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5392442
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BestHandwriting/pseuds/BestHandwriting
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One clear night at the academy, Kirito and Eugeo slip out to watch the stars.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Yearning

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Tiếng Việt available: [[Translation] Yearning](https://archiveofourown.org/works/7630246) by [Chamomilea](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chamomilea/pseuds/Chamomilea)



The Underworld night has its own expanse of stars, stretching across the sky in a beautiful display Kirito could never hope to find in his Earth home. He can’t find any of the constellations he once knew, but Eugeo sits by his side and points out a few of his own.

“That one to the left there is the Knight. The three stars that go diagonally are supposed to be his sword, and the three horizontal to it are the belt. And right above that, the four stars that make a little diamond form the Goddess.” Eugeo has a lazy smile on his face, the kind of smile that Klein would wear sometimes.

Kirito misses Klein at times, but today is not one of those days. Today, he’s fully content by Eugeo’s side. He could stay like this forever, curling up towards Eugeo’s warmth and not thinking about the world he once knew.

Kirito’s startled back into the present by nervous laughter. Eugeo ducks his head, rubbing the back of his neck like he always does when he’s not sure what to say. “Well… I used to know all of them. I can’t remember the rest anymore.”

He looks up at Kirito with kind eyes, the kind that always remind Kirito of Asuna. They gnaw at him with guilt, ever dulling until remorse barely stings him. It’s been over a year since he’s seen her… she would understand. He’s only 19; he can’t be expected to stay faithful for eternity.

Yet why was Kirito okay with staying dedicated to Asuna forever until Eugeo appeared in his life?

He doesn’t know, and he doesn’t care, not tonight.  All he wants to care about is the boy by his side.

“Did you ever used to look up at the stars?” Eugeo nudges Kirito, not enough to hurt. Eugeo would never dream of hurting Kirito. “Back before this, I mean.”

Kirito pretended to think for a moment. “I think so. They’re very pretty.”  _Just like you are_. Kirito doesn’t say that though. He likes to think he has more class than that. “Have you ever wished you could just reach out and grab them?”

“No, not really.” Eugeo’s smile falters, and Kirito struggles not to cringe. He said the wrong thing again, didn’t he. “It’s the gods’ property. I wouldn’t wish to steal anything of theirs; it’s against the Taboo Index, remember?”

“Of course.” He covers up his embarrassment with a breathy laugh, his cheeks flushing red. He can’t understand why Eugeo sparks such a reaction out him; he’s not one to get nervous or blush. “I wish we could do this more often. Sneak away at night and watch the stars.”

Eugeo’s soft smile returns once again as he rests a hand on the grass right by Kirito. “Me too.”

The urge to lay a hand on top of Eugeo’s overcomes Kirito. He reaches his hand out, but he retracts it as his mind catches up to his movements. What is he doing? He loves Asuna. She’s waiting for him in the real world, and they’ll always be faithful.

He ends up putting his hand on Eugeo’s anyways. She doesn’t have to know about this. When he sees her again, he’ll fall in love again and forget this ever happened. He’ll forget any semblance of that warmth he cherished when Eugeo would smile brightly his way or nudge him playfully, and he’ll remember  _hers_.

The vow doesn’t stop heat from rushing up to his face. This is nice, comforting even. Their hands are one on top of the other, not holding one another, yet it leaves him blushing like a schoolgirl. Eugeo flips his hand over under Kirito’s, not looking away from the stars for a moment. But Kirito watches; he can see the reddish flush spread across Eugeo’s cheeks too.

Kirito takes the opportunity to slide closer together, enough that he can lean a head on Eugeo’s shoulder. Eugeo stiffens at the contact initially, but he relaxes shortly after.

He whispers, looking down at Kirito with eyes like spring’s first leaves, “Remember the Taboo Index, Kirito.”

If Kirito remembers, homosexuality was against it… But Eugeo makes no motion to move, and neither does Kirito.

_Don’t overstep the boundaries_. Kirito smiles as he comes to realization, curling up a little closer to Eugeo’s side. Sitting side by side was close to the line, and holding hands was closer, but so long as they didn’t actually  _kiss_ …

“You’re not one to bend the rules, Eugeo.”  Eugeo’s cheeks stain a darker red, and he jerks his gaze back up towards the sky. What a shame, Kirito muses; his emerald eyes are beautiful…

“Just let me be selfish once, Kirito.” He squeezes Kirito’s hand, once, then again harder. “I’ve always wanted to watch the stars with someone I… I…” He trails off, his smile contorting into an almost pained look. With his free hand, he reaches up towards his right eye and covers it. “Someone I care about.”

Eugeo’s voice cracks, and Kirito can’t help but smile brighter. He can read the underlying words within them.  _Someone I love._

Kirito’s heart feels lighter than air. It’s all wrong; he shouldn’t feel this way. But there’s nothing he can do now. He’s trapped in a world where old vows are rendered worthless and invisible rules stop them from going any further than holding hands, but he doesn’t care. He doesn’t care if it means he can have nights like this, where he’s more at ease than he’s felt in a long time.

Eugeo leans his head so it rests on top of Kirito’s. He falls asleep like that, his breath slowing to a gentle metronome. The sound lulls Kirito towards sleep, but he doesn’t allow himself to rest just yet.

As the night gets chilly, Kirito finally moves. Gently, he lays Eugeo onto the ground and kneels beside him. He brushes a hand across flaxen-bangs, uncovering shut eyes. Kirito’s breath escapes him as he takes in the innocent face. He’s beautiful, Eugeo, with all his soft lines and delicate curves.

For a long moment, Kirito longs to press a soft kiss on rough lips below him. He shakes away the urge; they cannot break the Taboo Index now, not when there’s still so much for them to do.

Carefully, he lifts the flaxen-haired boy into his arms, like a groom might carry a bride.

As Kirito carries the sleeping Eugeo back to their room, he allows himself one light kiss to Eugeo’s forehead.  _Friends,_  he’ll say.  _I was just comforting him, like you would a child._

And if the lie sounds false even to him, Kirito doesn’t care. It’s not enough, what little they have, but for now, he’ll take it.

**Author's Note:**

> Well, someone's got to post the first Yujikiri fic here. Cross-posted from my [tumblr](http://besthandwriting.tumblr.com/post/121603583399/fic-yearning) if you're wondering why this seems so familiar.
> 
> And now we must go back to waiting for the SAO Alicization Arc to get animated. In the meantime, I guess I'll go back and read Volume 14 again (Wrap this tiny world up gently like the night sky... those final words sure take a new meaning if you consider this fic... haha).


End file.
